What can we do with sibling rivalry? Who can play with which toys, choose the bedtime story or press the knob in public transport? There are many situations in which seemingly insignificant reasons lead to a dispute between siblings. Although many parents could waive these disputes, rivalry between siblings is something totally normal and as part of this relationship, such as solidarity or support if the brother or sister needs help. In many situations, conflicts between the offspring can be avoided by the correct behavior of the parents, or at least limited.
Although the causes of sibling rivalry in specific dispute situations often appear superficially, it goes often to intrinsic values, such as anchor identification, appreciation or sympathy, explained the Working Group for Preventive and Social Medicine. In fact, the siblings compete primarily on the love and attention of parents, contact thus feelings of rejection, aggression, jealousy and envy. Not least, compare siblings, feels a disadvantage arise rivalry.
Sibling rivalry begins
Sibling rivalry begins in most cases after the birth of the sister or brother, which brings some changes. The older child must henceforth not only the attention of the parents is so important, but often share on children or toys. At the same time the child from the parents will be assigned a new role, it is regarded as the more sensible of the sisters because it is older and more experienced, yes.
The problem can also occur as early as during pregnancy, for example, if the mother due to a complicated pregnancy history a long time be in the hospital. On the other hand, jealousy between siblings begin until later, when the youngest child is active in family life, evolve different features, or social recognition situation varies.
The lower the age difference between the children fail, the more often will the sibling rivalry. The same sex can increase the romantic effect - in both cases, the children feel like and the comparisons are larger.
A positive aspect is that siblings learn in relationship with each other as to assert their own needs over the other develop their personality and emotions and act out while trying to deal with it. That these processes are always accompanied by controversy cannot be prevented. Many children take the birth of a younger sibling exercise more responsibility and are more independent.
What to do with sibling rivalry?
To a certain degree rivalry belongs to the life of brothers and sisters, so parents can and should have no influence whatsoever. However, you can set up rules of interaction and influence the relationship between siblings positively by their own behavior:
Preparing the child for the arrival of sibling by anticipation and the role of big brother / big sister is mediated positive
Eighth after the child is born out of the older child still enough to pay attention, for example, through extra-curricular activities with the Father
Children not mutually incite by some services are compared. Even if it is not possible in any situation, parents should try to favor any of their children or to discriminate against another, but to show them that all are equally loved. They should strengthen the confidence of the children, giving them also that everyone has special skills, but these turn out differently from person to person.
Both siblings must explain why they cannot be treated in all situations and therefore about because of the age difference does not go to bed at the same time. Several advantages that brings all ages with it can, however be emphasized by parents.
Parents must engage for small arguments, the siblings often find a solution among themselves. If a child is violent or already devote the first tears, but parents should go in between in order to settle the dispute. The same applies if a conflict topic for a long period occurs again and again. Also important, the litigants are to make it clear that neither malignancy represent a solution yet to be honored. Instead, should always be taken to ensure that reparation takes place. Very young children, parents can dispute also offer solutions, so that the conflict can be resolved more easily.
Strong aversion to sibling
Sibling rivalry can be observed just after the birth of a new child in many families, even among siblings dispute comes in the course of childhood again and again and is not unusual. In rare cases of sibling rivalry can also be problematic, or have an emotional disturbance as the cause.
This is the case when the jealousy and envy of the last particularly long, associated with other psychosocial problems, the older child is hostile to the younger, and she shall be adjusted only very negative. Other signs include physical injuries, to share the refusal of any positive response to the other or even more unhappy or anxious behavior.
Extreme cases of sibling rivalry can not only spoil the mood within the family, but also the relationships between the siblings and weigh between children and parents . In these cases, professional help, for example in the form of a family therapist, are considered; the search for the exact causes and can highlight different approaches.
Read another articles:’ How to Divide the Children’s Rights Responsibilities ’ and ‘how to teach a toddler to share toys ’.