Time-out is one of discipline methods for children - expert opinion
Positive parenting determines time-out as one of discipline methods for children. Some may think how I can recommend time out, it cannot hurt the baby? I've spent time out for almost 20 years as a family counselor, said Mr. Williams. If there would be people out in the field, currently. Doing this, I would like to make some explanatory comments here.
Questions and comments have been a few times goes on, I say time-out is used to give the children a chance to reflect on what they have said and done. But critics of the method don’t feel that it influences such on the child. They say that it will feel like a rejection, as they and their feelings are not good enough. Time-out is probably intended as a break, but feels like a punishment. And as a teacher at a time out is not to reflect on inappropriate behavior, but to hide and suppress certain feelings because certain feelings apparently are not accepted, given that they exclude from social life.
What critics see as the solution is to hold the child and his emotions show the love and consistency, while lending itself out to the child in conflict situation. For example: It's also annoying that you want ... and so should not be .... But do not, because ... So it may be that sticks in a howl of the other world. Bring about: Yeah, it's not fun to get no. I understand it well, but .... In this way both houses Mon child and his feelings while you are quite consistent and stick.
For example, Mathias 3 years old and over again jumped around on the couch, though his mother said a quiet 'no' followed by a small age-appropriate explanation: But you must not jump on the sofa, because it can break the wears out. Although she, as critics of the time-out method suggests, then said: It's also annoying that you want ... and so should not ... But it do not, because ... he was not stopped when his super lovely and active personality wanted to continue to jump on the couch, especially when it no consistency got. I have never live met a professional who can get the children involved in TV broadcasts to stop after the words of critics of the method mentions. I would have deep-deep respect for it, I cannot, and I do not know a single one who has been in reality. I hear many people mention it in theory, but I've never seen them do it in practice. As my teacher said during my training as a family counselor, Do not believe one therapist's words until you have seen him in action. I would like to ask critics of the time-out method, what the command would be to Mathias mother if he, despite the appealing and cash words, as proposed, and which was given many times, yet constantly crawl up on the couch.
Most parents are otherwise at this time, against their wish and will, for losing my temper and patience to the child when the time number 100 that afternoon said: I do not want you crawl up on the couch, without it gets the child to stop. And when parents lose their tempers, so shout and scream, and may take the child away by a hard tear in the arm. What should they have done here? To prevent parents when a contact form where either child or parent feel good to be so comes time out in the best assistance to the parties so that they can find peace in themselves again.
I can give an example. When 6-year-old boys playing football, and a buddy does not score a great opportunity, so it can get one of the other players to express his feelings thus: You cannot play shit football, now it's your fault if we lose the fight, you idiot. Here he expresses the feelings. Shall I just say to him: 'I don’t want you to say such a player. I understand that you are frustrated, that was not scored, it is also annoying, you would wish had happened, it did not happen, but it may not get you to say such a companion. But what he learned of it, and makes him to stop, or the critics' view that he should continue to be allowed to show his feelings, the coach must accommodate both the child and his feelings? What I think is the worst in situations where a child shows violent emotional outbursts towards other children, is that you can look at the child who constantly exposed to another child should be allowed to express his feelings that the child the framework just never feel taken seriously for good behavior, and are either suppressed by the child with the strong feeling of response, or tempted to learn, because the big emotional outbursts gives power, space and great understanding of the environment, which simply says: I understand that you were angry that recess was over now, but you must not overturn the tables and chairs in the classroom, I would not have, and you can see that one table Amalie hit hard on the toes and it has made her cry! When a child who has passed the table has calmed down again (and he is not fixed, I hope that the critics of the time-out method agree with me) after showing feelings for break time completion, the teacher should go and comfort Amalie, and what the teacher say to Amalie? I understand that you cry when you got a table down to your toes, but it is important that we give him to show his feelings, so I hope that you will help to accommodate him. And what about all the other children in the class who are spectators to the child understood and get the most space in the adult, the child with the most inappropriate behavior, what they may learn from the observation that what learned Amalie, and what did the child with the violent reaction?
I think it is a good tool in these situations to give a time-out, and it must be proportionate to age and it happened. The child with inappropriate language on the football field for a mate can get a time out so and given a calm and restrained adult: Boring language for a mate is not accepted (I learned to walk as much as possible after the ball instead of the man).
I continue to find examples that convince me time out as the best way to help a programmed negative behavior / formation of the child again, and even create the side effect to make room for more social formation values. I have incidentally over the years met many children who take time out when they can feel that my temper is running from them, the same as going for a walk as adults use. The right and opportunity to young children do not take / get. But let them have the opportunity to find peace with themselves inside their own base at a time out, I go right in and take a time out. But remember to give time-out in the right way. It must never go and blie a new threat: Shut up or you get a time out. In this formulation, it is precisely a rejection child will feel.
Good luck using it, and remember to do everything possible to minimize the number of time-outs as one of discipline methods for children.