Teaching Self-esteem and Self-respect
Teaching self-esteem and self-respect is the inner core of a human being. It is a construction of the foundation, when we build a house or roots of a tree. Large strong roots get the tree to stand stable in any storm. Are the roots slender tree will fall? Therefore, we must deal with each other and especially our children in such a way that the other person, the child's self-esteem / self-respect grows.
It is a topic that has intrigued me for many years, where I as healthcare is constantly trying to learn more about the methods, and I will try to convey something of what I have read and learned.
Self-esteem / self-respect is how we perceive ourselves. Something we are the experience of having value characteristics.
We strengthen the child's self-esteem / self-respect by seeing the child must be present, see and listen to the child's feelings, understand the child's needs. How the child feel seen, heard, accepted and appreciated.
Self-confidence we get when we are good at something. Something we can, anything we do - some skills we have. Here, the child needs characters and assessments.
Marion Thorning writes in his book: Children need both recognition of their personal and praise for their personality - so that they can strengthen both self-esteem and self-confidence. Children with high self-esteem can easily tolerate that there is something that does not succeed. They will be able to embark on a task without being afraid of the risk of failure .
With a good and solid self-esteem / self-respect child will grow up without bully others or to let themselves be bullied. A child - a young person with a strong self-esteem / self-respect commit generally not criminal acts, cannot substitute other down, will not run with knives, sticks and cuts in itself, starve themselves or eat. That's why it's so important when we all know the difference between child's self-esteem / self-respect, and when we strengthen the child's self-confidence.
Too much praise can actually damage their self-esteem / self-respect. So instead of praising your child try appreciative emotions behind the child's actions instead. Children need to be seen, heard, recognized, accepted and be taken seriously. The various authors (see bibliography) tells of the little child, representing a drawing. The adult says that drawing is beautiful, the child will then go and draw more drawings similar to hennaed. Barnet know deep inside that drawing really is not very nice. One way to enhance the child's self-esteem is to tell you that you are fond of drawing, ask up to what it imagines what the colors mean, etc. Go into action for example, to say out loud that you can see the child enjoy themselves when it accounts, make an effort while the accounts and the like.
My own mother told me when I was quite young - she was actually at the rest of her life - that I was a pig when I spilled food down by me or on the table. She could have strengthened my self-esteem by telling me that it was something mess I made. So she could have criticized my action instead of my person. Too much criticism damages self-esteem / self-respect. So instead of saying to another human being, you're stupid I can say that it was stupidly done. It is a good maxim to be the kick and say what you want and what you do not want, both when you are with adults and children.
Children must be recognized not approved. I am thinking of the child, in the middle of the queue in front of the supermarket, which plagues on an ice cream. Recognition of this situation would be to tell the child that you have heard that it would like an ice cream - it cannot be done now or today. Recognition is also to see what is difficult or sad.
In the infant's first independence period, about 1 ½ years of age, should it out and make his experience by touching and examining the various things at home. Here you can say what you want and what you do not want the child touches, that way you do not baby wrong. Then we see the baby try to touch the forbidden again and again. For wondering if my mother / father still believe what they said? The child tests limits of - that your limits.
Self-esteem / self-respect can be built. Think positively about yourself instead of negative .
Read also: How to Teach Children to Ask and Time-out is one of discipline methods .