Single parents who became single and raise their children on their own are confronted by a child’s protest at an early stage. The cause of child’s protest is his or her unwillingness to accept the reality. The child is aware of the hopelessness of the situation. Now, he will be living with only one parent , and there is no turning back to the past.
Main reasons for a child’s protest that a single parent should be aware of
A child may be going through a barrage of emotions, he or she may ask himself questions, the answers to which he does not know. “What’s next? How am I going to live? What can I do now?” Anxiety, uncertainty, and suspense causes the child to feel sick and realize exactly how much he or she lost with one parent leaving. A feeling of injustice visits him or her: “Why did it happen exactly to me? Why can’t I change anything? Whose fault is this?” In this case, the parent caring for the child usually falls under accusation. A child may conclude that the parent he is currently with is responsible for the disappearance of the other parent. In this type of situation, single parents experience a double stress on the one hand, there’s a spouse who left, leaving you with all the problems, on the other hand, you have a child who holds you responsible for what happened.
How can Single Parents handle a child’s protest?
The importance of listening to a child
It is important to listen to a child with patience. Even if the words said by the child are hurtful to you, by listening to him or her, you will be showing your sympathy toward him or her. Let him express all of his concerns and expectations. Let him share all of his negative thoughts out loud. In this way, a child may be able to get all of the pressure out and get rid of the accumulated anger.
Try not to interrupt a child
Try not to interrupt or stop the child if you think that he might have gone too far. Just don’t take the offensive words personally it is the helplessness and grievance which cause them to come out and it will cool down over time.
Try not to criticize a child
During the period of protest, try to abstain from criticizing your child. Criticism will only deepen the already shaken world of your child, and will lower the self-esteem. The use of criticism by the parent may lead a child to developing a sense of guilt and the feeling of responsibility for what happened, and for the family split. "I’m very badIt is my fault what happened with my mom and dad”
Try not to control the feelings of a child
Try to abstain from taking full control of your child’s feelings. You still won’t be able to influence the process of healing of the emotional wounds. On the contrary, by actively interfering with his or her inner concerns, you will end up harming him or her. A child needs some time in order to accept the changes in his or her life.
The right time to put an end to allegations and protests of a child
However, if it has been a full year since the child’s protest started, and he continues to complain, accuse and protest, this means that your sympathy is not helping, and this is the moment to start taking drastic measures. Single parents should stop listening to a child, but instead, start demanding him or her to do things. The problem is that some children, due to their very sensitive character, can’t get out of the state of anger, grief and protest. When the complaining and accusations become a habit, there is a danger that the child wouldn’t want to change and live happily with the single parent. If nothing is working in order to get the child out of the state of protest, then both the parent and the child need to seek help from a qualified psychologist.
We hope that this article will help a single parent to handle their child’s protest.