Raising grandchildren How Can Grandparents and Parents Cope with Controversies
Raising grandchildren is a very important matter. Sometimes grandparents treat their grandchildren even more carefully than they treated their own children. Raising grandchildren is a complicated job for grandparents. They are ready to help their children in everything, or sometimes they just do not have another choice. Many grandparents today are raising their grandchildren when the children's own parents are not able or willing to do so. Nevertheless, arguments concerning child’s upbringing often occur between parents and grandparents. On the one hand, grandparents have a great experience in children’s upbringing. However, they not always can be called a perfect role model. On the other hand, their children who have their own opinion how to bring up children and old offences concerning some of their parents’ methods of upbringing. There are no perfect people, so everyone has his own way to perfection. In the end, both parents and grandparents wish their child only the best. Sometimes their methods to influence a child just do not coincide. Familiarize yourself with some useful tips how to cope with controversies concerning raising grandchildren.
Get to Know the Reasons of Disagreement with Old Methods of Upbringing Child
If your children are absolutely against some actions concerning their child (your grandchild), do not start arguing with them. Maybe the reason is connected with your children’s worries about their childhood. The very same actions may have worried them as children many years ago. Give your children an opportunity to have their word; it will be good for both sides.
Find Points of Agreement
Points of agreement imply those directions of children’s upbringing, which satisfy both parents and grandparents. In spite of any disagreements, you still have much in common. Both parties, parents and grandparents should listen to each other. Maybe your goals coincide and you talk about the same things in different words. Elaborate a combined strategy to influence the child.
Negotiate Ways of Encouraging and Punishing the Child
It is very important to bring upa child in one way, so he could know what is allowed and what is not. It is unacceptable when family members are not concordant. For example, grandparents allow a child to do what is prohibited by parents and vice versa. When a child is small, he cannot see the situation from another point of view, he needs a certain plan of actions: this is good and that is bad. That is why grandparents must discuss what is allowed and what is not with parents. Negotiate the ways of child’s encouragement and punishment. Maybe your children just avoid punishing children, encouraging them instead.
Do Not Press Your Opinion on Young Parents
Do not forget that your children have already grown up and now they have their own kids. That is why when you are persistently trying to bring them over your point of view, you just tell them that they are still not mature and cannot rely on their own experience. Of course, it can cause conflicts. That is why it is desired to choose indirect tactics to influence your children’s opinion. Give your advice in a friendly way instead of condescending tone. Try to persuade them by giving examples, not by shouting. The best thing is to point your children to a certain way so that they would think it is their own decision. Offer your help and support only when being asked.
Try to Keep Up with the New Life
The world is not standing on-site. Much time has passed since your children were little girls and boys. New trends in life and methods of upbringing determine the future. That is why the task of grandparents is to keep up with time. It makes you feel young and useful for your family. If your life is active and interesting, grandchildren will have fun with you. You will automatically become their authority without preaching or frightening.
We hope that our article will be useful to you, and you will find agreement in questions of raising grandchildren with their parents .