Positive parenting has a few principles for helping parents bring up their children. One of these principles is: making mistakes is normal says John Grey in his book. This principle is the basis on which positive parenting is built. Furthermore, we will try to explain how this principle works and how it will help in raising your child.
Mistakes a child makes and their attitude toward these mistakes
A child has made a mistake. The first that comes to mind is the reason behind their action, and how they could possibly do this. The answer is simple: the child only has little experience. That’s why it’s easier for a child to make a mistake than for an adult. Something that is evident for an adult, a child can simply pass without noticing it. Often a child doesn’t see the connection between the things and actions he is performing. That’s why it’s the adult’s attitude that can lead to the mistake. Positive parenting says: to making mistakes is a natural way to get to know life. A child’s attitude towards mistakes can develop due to the parents’ influence. What’s the parent’s attitude towards their child’s mistakes?
Parents’ attitude towards their child’s mistake
Parents, depending on their own character and their attitude towards mistakes, react to the mistakes of their children in different ways.
Criticize the child severely for the mistakes
Parents, who do not forgive themselves for mistakes, do not forgive their children either. They criticize children for the mistakes they have made. This leads to a fear of mistakes that pushes the child in 2 directions:
1. A fear for anything new, in which they can make a mistake.
2. Lying to the parents about what happens because of the fear of being punished or humiliated for the mistake.
Pass the child’s mistakes without notice
There’s a category of parents who do not pay attention or do not want to pay attention to the child’s mistakes.
Usually, these are the parents who are conveniently referred to as the group that take on a permitting upbringing of their children, and also as the parents who are completely indifferent to the future of their children.
The first kind do not want to acknowledge mistakes because they consider their child to be perfect and the second kind are simply too lazy to acknowledge anything.
Point out the child’s mistakes and try to sort out the situation
The parents who follow common sense and the practice of Positive parenting explain to the child that making mistakes is absolutely natural and that they shouldn’t be afraid of this. However, the child’s mistake should be looked into in order to leave the child with a memory of a useful experience and not to be afraid when faced with a mistake.
The experience a child gets
First of all, you should discuss 3 questions with your child, related to the mistake they have made.
What’s the reason for the mistake?
What are the consequences of the mistake?
What experience has the child received from what has happened?
The experience in the given situation is the most valuable lesson for a child. The parent’s task is to help the child to come to the right conclusion, as well as to give the child a possibility to redeem themselves. Of course, it’s better to learn from the mistakes of others, however, you will never forget your own mistakes as they are probably the best lessons in your life. Positive parenting turns negative consequences of the child’s mistake into the experience that will stay with the child all throughout life.
A parent’s behavior after making a mistake
A parent’s behavior after making a mistake is an example for the child’s behavior in the same situation. That’s why a parent who admits their mistakes and isn’t afraid to sort them out, draws conclusions about what has happened, and shows their child a wonderful model of behavior. The child looks at their parent and tries to mimic their behavior.
How to handle the fear of making a mistake?
For a parent who was often criticized in their childhood for making a mistake, it would be hard to stick to the methods of Positive parenting . A fear of making a mistake often takes over. However, know that many big and good matters began as mistakes and later provided a useful experience to their initiators. In this light, it’s important to realize that all we see now in front of us are the results of trials and mistakes. They have provided the opportunity to think of a more beneficial choice and bring it to life.