How You Can Teach Children to Ask, or It Is Normal to Want More


How can you teach children to ask? This is a great skill which will turn out extremely useful throughout the life of a child. Parents, who do this, give the child their first learned social skill. Positive parenting promotes the development of a child’s diplomacy and independence. One of the main principles of positive parenting is to want more, which is usually normal. Next, we will discuss how exactly parents can go about teaching children to ask, as well as the differences between the requests of girls and boys.

How You Can Teach Children to Ask: Why Is It So Important?

Why is it so important to teach children to want more and ask for it? Individuals, who don’t know how to ask, do it very rarely and usually have no hope for a positive result. The same is with people who either cannot ask or cannot stand the word NO. These people try to avoid similar situations in every possible way. This eventually results in underestimated requirements, a lack of diplomatic skills in family and work relationships, and overcoming challenges alone.


A person, who already knows how to ask, does not treat a negative response as offensive. A negative response gives him or her a greater desire to persuade the opponent. A person, who knows how to ask, can demonstrate the need and usefulness of the request, already prepared for it in advance. Therefore, people that are confident and assertive can achieve more.

How You Can Teach Children to Ask: Let’s Learn Diplomacy

Let’s learn diplomacy together with a child. Many adults panic under their child’s thumb. They think it will lead to a petted and capricious child. But, it is the best time when your toddler is just learning to walk, talk, and master the basic skills of communication. In fact, you are ready to give him the best. However, the requirements develop into a real nightmare for parents. The child says, ‘I want,’ and throws temper tantrums if not getting what they want. So, what should you do?

First of all, you need to explain to the child why you do not give him what he or she wants. You must also listen to his reasoning for needing the item . If he is sufficiently convincing and can defend his wish, it will be an additional practice for his ability to negotiate. Also, it will raise the self-esteem of the child. “My parents have listened to me and given me what I want. I’m listened to, and my wishes are respected,” the child will think. But, if you are totally against the child’s wish, just clearly explain this to him. Tell him that you do not see a good enough reason to satisfy the request of the child. He should understand that parents can say both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. It all depends on how good the child is at negotiating and defending his interests.

How You Can Teach Children to Ask: Boys Girls

Girls need to be simply pushed to ask for more. Many times girls and adult women cannot identify their requests directly, but rather try to use hints and indirectly talk about desirable things. As a result, they get very upset if others neither understand nor notice their wishes and requests. Therefore, teach the girl to speak clearly and openly about her requests and desires. In the case of failure, you can support and sympathize with her emotionally.

Boys intuitively express their wishes and requests directly. However, if the answer is ‘no’, they can become upset and confused. Boys need special support when they do not get what they want. They require support, but not advice. Try asking your child why he is so upset and let him explain in detail about his feelings. Avoid obvious sympathy and outward help, as this can produce a negative effect.

How You Can Teach Children to Ask: Let’s Set the Rules

How You Can Teach Children to Ask, or It Is Normal to Want More

It is very useful and necessary to set rules because a child can ask you about anything.

The child turns to you with a request.

The child has an opportunity to prove the usefulness and necessity of the desired object.

You are guided by common sense, and are able to either accept or reject the request.

The child has the opportunity to challenge your decision only if he or she develops thoroughly arguments. The phrase ‘I just want it!’ does not work.

Now you know how to teach children to ask. ‘To want more’ is a well-described statement in John Gray’s book ‘Children of Heaven’.

Read alsoPositive Parenting: All Children Are Different andNegative emotions of children that’s normal