Do you have 3-year-olds, who can scream themselves blue in the face if he/she does not get his/her way? Who suddenly gets a tantrum without sums up why? It’s so comforting you that your child reacts naturally and by the book.
When the three-year child freak out that, for example, cannot have sweets in the morning, it reflects a deep frustration that you and dad do not understand its needs, says child psychologist Magrethe Brown Hansen.
Exactly it is fundamental to understand why your three-year child reacts so violently when there is something that goes against him/her. The 3-year-olds have not yet been able to expose his/her needs.
According to Margaret Brown Hansen starts a child to first get “I” when it reaches the age of three. From having been closely linked to you parents find the little man now realize that she has her own will.
The child has a perception of itself as the world's center and often has its own agenda. But he/she has no life experience to draw on and therefore do not understand why it should wait to get candy for later, or so it must have snowsuit on right now, where it plays so well, explains Margaret Brown Hansen.
Yes, it's exhausting
As a mother, you can probably see it as a bit of a shock if your cute little toddler, from what feels like one day to the other, suddenly transforms into a screaming demon.
Is your patience and spaciousness not previously been put to the test, they will surely now.
It can feel very intense and exhausting, while it lasts. But it is a period that all children go through. There is no escaping the conflicts, and you should not, says child psychologist.
In return, you help both yourself and your child by choosing your battles carefully.
Sit down with your husband and find out what there is to talk, and what is not up for discussion. Once done, you should stick with the decision, show leadership and be clear, says she.
If, for example, is important to you, you decide what clothes your child to wear, then squat down, look your child in the eye and tell quietly, that it is you who decides.
What is important is that we adults hold on to what we have said. Your three year becomes furious, but there it is. It does no good to appeal to the child's sense, so do not come with a thousand explanations. It is too abstract for a child of three years and only serves to escalate the conflict.
When she comes to you, so show that you are good friends.
Conversely, there may be situations where you can meet your child to avoid an indifferent conflict. Triggers such a tantrum when every evening turn the TV off in the middle of the favorite cartoon because there is food on the table at 18, it might be an idea to move the dinner a neighborhood.
We parents are different, and therefore we must each make up about ourselves, which conflicts are worth taking.
Often it can be useful to consider whether you can do things in a different way. Are you, for example, always in the car when you get to kindergarten, it is perhaps less important to force your screaming child into a snowsuit. Inversely, some as a matter of principle that the child must have a snowsuit when it is winter, and it's the struggle that you must choose to take, exemplifies Margaret Brown Hansen.
Let your child rage out
Once you have made you clear the matches you want to take, it is important that you are consistent and take the conflict immediately despite the tumult.
If your child, for example, continues to jump on the couch, despite the fact that you have clearly stated that you will not have, you must move the child physically away from the couch. Show understanding that your child gets angry, and do not take it personally.
We may find it difficult to accommodate our child's violent frustration. But it is important that we remain calm so that the conflict does not escalate.
Rejoice that you have a child who dares to let go of his feelings, and do not scold, says Magrethe brown Hansen.
Let your child rage out - even if it may take some time. Call him/her such a little, and that you can see that he/she is angry, but it is, as you have said. Do not dwell on it, but go out of the room and do something else and come back later.
If you stay with your child, you can help to keep him/her from being angry, stresses Margaret Brown Hansen. So it's good to break the situation by walking. When she gradually comes and asks for a glass of juice, show that you are good friends and that you do not hold grudges.
You're a good mom!
Anger Seizures may of course come so often and be so severe that it takes a closer look at what has gone before, when your child gets a flip.
Ask yourself whether you are clear enough, and if there is anything you can do in a different way. Many children find it difficult transitions and reacts violently when they need from A to B, explains Margaret Brown Hansen.
If, for example, always ends with screams and screams when I have to leave in the morning, you could try to stand up a little earlier, so there is less stress.
Be aware, however, that children are different, and that some three have more temperamental than others. Let finally have to feel like a bad mother when your child for 117th time freak obliquely that she must have a helmet on.
When you are upset that your child cries and screams, and follows you over the passers eyes, is it because you think that a good parent is one that no conflicts with her child. Look forward instead of that you have a child with personality and natural will, reassures Margaret Brown Hansen.
... and remember it right, next time you see a mother with a screaming three in the supermarket. If you give her a pat on the back and tell her you think she is doing it well, you might have saved her day.
Read also: Education Suzuki School and Why children bite .