I have been asked to write a bit about the challenges of a single parent. And they are more than just being written on a few pages. For when the time often is scarce, the economy tight, and the past might rankle, yes, you are tired faster. So can fluctuate between being too lenient and too hard to her children, and it gives back guilt. But the challenges are of course very dependent on how old your children are, how long you've been alone with them, and who you are as a person. I will mention some challenges for me as a single father, and it's so not necessarily the same for a single mother.
It is very time consuming to be a single parent . We are in the first year around with constant feelings that fail our children when we are doing other things. We do many things for the sake of the children, but we also need, we ourselves must be met if we are in the long term should be something for our children. We need fellowship with other adults, both at the human level and as Christians, while it may take courage to break into other people's families. Some find so quickly that they cannot cope with a circle of couples, but finds new solo-friends. We need help from time to time, but are also going to have to draw a limit to how close we want others into our family.
Lower level of ambition
In order to make time for the kids and ourselves, it is necessary to lower its level of ambition. We must learn to neglect in the right order, so for example. Our garden does not always appear so maintained, as we would wish. At the same time, we are probably the only parents more sensitive to others' rating, and we are probably easier wounded. We need that people notice that things are going well for us and our children. We must lower the level of ambition without complacency. The latter is very important. Things should continue to function even when they are incalculable. It being alone with children is difficult enough in itself, but their illnesses and problems, or perhaps practical difficulties at home, also provides challenges. Some things tackled best by a mother, other things of a father and you cannot fill both roles, and you have to ask for help.
With regard to children's learning in the Christian faith, it is of course important not to turn off. There must be time for the daily prayers and the talk that goes with it. - Also about the difficulties of being a sole parent family. We do not share our difficulties with the kids, but they should be able to tell us what they feel. As a family, we also need a Christian community, and the children need clubs for their age. In the holidays, children camps are a good common experience if parent volunteer as an employee. And otherwise there is also such a summer camp for single parents with children, where you meet like-minded people. Overall, I think we should let our children know that it is part of the Christian life that we shall come into a Christian community. And the best way we can show them it is well that we do not hide the fact that we are happy to be in such a place.
Self-esteem is something that we give each other or take apart. We need to keep some of us and will be with us. When so many single parents are struggling with lack of self-esteem, it is because such that previously experienced to be liked - closeness, affection, good words, a bunch to snuggle in, etc. We rested in the fact that we were loved, and now we like to find a resting point somewhere else. Here, family and friends give one value, and who learn to love themselves, learn so also amazingly fast, ignoring themselves - and get better at something for others. Of course there is also great value in knowing the love of God.
Many more things can be said about the challenges for a family with only one parent. The first time you are very dependent on the support of others, but fortunately you become better at tackling things gradually. There are always concerns, but the best thing was when some have taken care of your children. For the children have a good time, the parent is usually good too.