What is independence for kids? How much freedom to give my child? How to stop worrying and always protect our children from the world around them?
In this time of kids’ development he/ she starts to know him / herself and how he/she relate to others. One of my friends Barbara tells some interesting perspective on independence for kids in her family. She is the mother of four children. She and her husband set themselves the task to raise confident, responsible kids.
That's why we try not to intervene unless we can feel that some things are really getting out of hand. Our tactic has ensured that our home is very popular hangout in the neighborhoods. Perhaps, the well-meaning moms think that they're doing well standing guard at our play structure. These moms don't understand that we are keeping an eye on children, albeit from a distance. If one of my children is ignoring any of our family rules or has strayed past his/her limits, for example, using bad language, intimidating or destroying one's property then he/she has to come inside right now.
When our kids back out, we are calm because they have learned to be less alarming about them environment. When my Mike goes to the store alone, he tells that we trust his decision and teach him how to cope with unexpected events. I understand if my kid loses his money or something like that, he learns from his mistakes. It is a real experience that helps him to manage his life. It is the first most important skill he can learn. Giving Mike this experience also we shows him that we think our environment is safe and that many people are different. The people around him are kind and decent with a few exceptions. These exceptions we are discussing.
Don’t encourage fear and disappointment in your kids
Keeping kids too closely, even when it's a right-minded way to be in safe, it is quite unhealthy for child development, according to experts of child psychology. Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci (a professor of psychology at Indiana University Southeast, US) says that overprotecting children keeps them from experiencing and choosing frustration and deficiency. Kids who don't learn to cultivate disappointment become apprehensive. They're the teenagers who won't try new activities. When they study at college, they sit in their rooms and play computer games rather than going out and communicate with other people.
Sometimes events happen, that doubt our right approach to independence for kids. For example, not so long ago when I was working late my sons, Wally and Mike, bedraggle our neighbor’s garage. My husband caught them, and the next morning the boys were taken to the neighbor’s house to apologize and clean up everything.
This incident did give me a feeling of mom guilt but I believe my kids are well adapted to the outside world.
Over involved parents are often considering their own need for closeness. They think that give kids the rather space they need. Being a supportive parent It isn’t mean do what's comfortable. It's also about being worry and consequences that take place when your kid strikes out for new areas. Independence for kids lets them develop essential life skills. It shows us how creative and resourceful they can be.
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