After a divorce with her husband, a woman begins to mend her private life. Her children also need a stepfather in order to feel the full value of the family. When personal sympathies of women and men turn into something serious, they start thinking about their life together. However, for various reasons, children may react to the decision of their mother and future stepfather in different ways.
Single parents , who have been raising children on their own, may face the decided protest. The same is with children, who have recently lived through their parents’ divorce. So, they may also be against the new 'father' in the house.
‘I do not need a stepfather’
Why may a child be against the new father?
All children can hardly tolerate the break-up of their parents. That is why any child subconsciously hopes to reunite their mother and father. A stepfather may seem to be a barrier between such a family joining. Therefore, even knowing nothing about the new mother’s man, the child treats him with suspicion and negativity.
The second reason can be the child’s desire to take care of the mother himself, since the child might have felt responsible for their mother’s loneliness. They take care and perform duties to protect her by themselves. Accordingly, the children do not understand why their mother needs a new husband.
In any case, the mother has the right to privacy and the child needs to be ready for this. In the next issue, we will talk about the rules which help to establish relations between the child and his new father.
Make sure that the stepfather is ready for the family life together with you and your children
Some women will do anything just to be married again and find their former confidence in the future. This is a natural desire of every woman to be loved and love, as well as have a family. However, the man of the destiny may frankly admit that he does not get along with children, while the woman is trying to delay the admission that she has children. Both cases can lead to many problems in the future coupledom. Family happiness will take place if the chosen man is willing to live with the woman and her children.
How do you make sure that your partner is ready to become a new dad for your kids? Tell him more about your children and wait for his reaction. If he is bored and not interested, then do not expect that he will ever change. He is not ready for the coupledom in your family.
A child and a stepfather - ‘long-distance friendship’
When your partner is ready to become a father for your child, it is necessary to prepare your child for this. Firstly, think of what will interest your child. Tell him interesting stories about your new friend, his hobbies and concerns.
The first meeting
The first meeting of a stepfather and children should be organized out of home. It is better to meet in a place with a relaxed atmosphere such as an amusement park, during a picnic or at a cinema house. The main thing here is everyone should feel happy and comfortable.
Listen carefully and observe the reaction of the child
After the first acquaintance with the future father, you should listen to the opinion of the child rather attentively. If the kid is hostile to your chosen man, try to find the cause of this anxiety. Perhaps, the reason is not only in the child. Sometimes children see what adults do not notice.
A stepfather and common doings
If the first meeting went well, you can strengthen the friendly relationship between the child and the future stepfather by doing other things together. Think about what you can do together. No doubt, it would be useful and enjoyable for your child.
Do not rush coupledom with your man
Do not rush things by getting married or preparing for the move once you have shown your friend to the family. A stepfather and your kids have to get used to each other and become good friends. Ideally, your children should ask you to make your partner their dad.Read also:Single parents: how do you handle a child’s protest What Single parent benefits you may have