7 Ways to Influence Troubled Teenagers
Your teenager doesn't listen to you, argues constantly, hangs out with his friends and totally ignores you, does he?
Where is the root of the problem?
How can you change this situation?
How can you rebuild relationships?
Of course, there is no miraculous recipe that will turn your child into a calm and balanced person. But you can change your own behavior and attitude to the child, and it is possible that then he gradually hides his thorns and you will be able to talk to him effectively. Basically the problem of a troubled teenager starts with a wrong positioning in the society. When a child becomes a teenager, he is starting to find his own identity. Sometime a child pretends to be someone else because he becomes more influenced by his peers, the media and societal pressures.
Talk to your teenager
In order to understand the reason of your teenager's aggressive or indifferent behavior you need to be aware of his intimate affairs and worries. When talking with a teenager you are immersing into his inner world. That is why you try to get him / her talking and listen to him / her attentively. Find points of contact. Believe us, if you search well, you will definitely find those interests connecting you and your child. If you have a teenage girl, you may discuss fashion news or make-up features with heror just go shopping together, etc. If you have a boy, you may talk about sport, cars, etc. The main thing is that even if your interests do not coincide, do not insist on your point of view; listen to your teenager attentively; therefore, you will be able to understand the way he thinks and lives.
Increase the teenagers' self-confidence
Lack of confidence and unwillingness to accept his own drawbacks are often the main reasons of unacceptable behavior of a troubled teenager. On the one hand, they are good because they allow a person to progress. But on the other hand, constant comparison with coevals and a desire to look like someone else and be accepted in their circle may result into unacceptable deeds. That is why you must always compliment your children fordoing what is expected of them and constantly encourage their cooperation with you. Moreover, you must trust your child and often tell him how good he is and how greatly he helps you. Pay attention to his doing good and compliment your child for it. Respect your teenager's interests.
Even if you don't like the song your child is listening to, or think that his passion for idols is a waste of time, or strongly disapprove of his playing another online game, you must respect his interests. Anyway, interests change while growing older and at the age of 25 your child will not even remember what he was obsessed with while being a teenager. Of course, if interests harm his health and turns into addictions (alcohol dependence, smoking, drug abuse or video game addiction) you must react without a delay. Immediately try to prevent an addiction, look for the help, or consult a teen psychology expert.
Give more independence and responsibilities
When a teenager feels responsibility, he simultaneously increases his self-assessment. By g iving them enough opportunity to be independent and responsible for his own chores, a child understands that he is very important part of a family and his family depends on him. Allow your teen to make mistakes, learn from them, and make own life decisions.
Be kind and attentive to the teenager
No matter how your child behaves, remember that you love him and that he is a part of you. Be attentive to his / her difficulties; do not neglect them even if you think that they are not significant at all. If your child suffers from problems, that means they are significant for him. You job, as a parent is to support and understand your child’s emotional state.
Engage the teenager in interesting activities
If you know that your child likes doing something particular, find a way to do it together. That will strengthen your relationships. Create auspicious conditions for your child to do his favorite activity. The most important part here is to consider his interests.
Support in difficult situations
Support in a difficult situation strengthen people's relationships, brings positive mood and opens new opportunities. A teenager feels his failures very acutely, he tends to dramatize everything. Sometimes even a minor problem may unbalance him and stimulate negative actions. That is why the task of parents is to feel such moments in their child's life and try to support, encourage and help their teenager in any way.