Parents can reduce siblingrivalries and keep all conflicts to a minimum to help the childrenget along if they know what causes this rivalry. They should also decide what steps to take to avoid awful situations. Some families are lucky to have kids that are also good friends with their sisters and brothers, however, it’s rather popular whenchildrenfight, compete and are jealous and selfish.
Thesesiblingconflicts may range from usual petty teasing to violent fighting.
What Are the Causes ofSiblingConflicts?
The most common is whenchildrenwant to get more attention and time from parents. This can be clearly seen when there’s a newborn baby in the family. When a new baby comes, kids start acting protective of relationshipswith parents and measure new differences in treatment.
Bored, hungry and tired kids can be a cause of fights .
Those who want to get attention of anothersiblingand, not knowing how to get it, start fights.
Parents comparing one child with another by saying “Why aren’t you as sweet as your little sister?” or “Your brother would have done it if I had asked!” Such sayings damage child’s self-esteem and cause resentment of anothersibling.
If your family doesn’t spend much good quality time together.
Parents who aren’t attentive enough to their kids due to various reasons.
Kids who don’t know how to solve conflicts by other means except fighting.
Kids who are too competitive to win over anothersiblingand show the difference between them.
Top 7 Steps for Parents to ReduceSiblingConflicts
1. Don’t pick your favourite.
Make sure that yourchildrenare treated equally and fairly. If both of them did bad things, be strict with both of them. However, kids always have different needs, problems inrelationships, especially when their age is different. In this case it’s almost impossible to treat them equally. If you are always trying to protect a younger or weaker child, well, learn not to do it. If your child complains about different treatment caused by various differences between them, explain everything to him neutrally, though be supportive. Explain that oldersiblinghas more responsibilities and, therefore, privileges, as staying out more, eating ice-cream before dinner, or being awake late. It is also important that you try to meet all the kids’ needs.
2. Encourage kids express their feelings, no matter what.
If they feel resentment or anger in theirrelationships, it’s fine. However, if one of the siblings tries to be violent towards the other, it’s not OK. Help your kids to find words instead of exchanging blows.
3. Discover if they have the skills to work out in theirrelationships.
Try to tell them that they are too mature to settle things down by themselves, without outer skills. Help them develop communicative skills, learn how to work out their conflicts, compromise, find solutions. If your kids don’t have those tools, they won’t be able to solve conflicts with each other and may have poor relationships in the future.
4. God forbid, if you compare your kids!Stop doing that and start with emphasizing each kids’ personalities and individual qualities.
5. Don’t get involved in conflicts unless there is a danger of harm,
because if you do, it may cause many other problems and even multiply conflicts. Thus, your child won’t be able to develop special tools for solving problems, and besides, onesiblingis often weaker (usually it is the youngest). Older kids will resent your constant help and protection you provide with the weaker, and this may cause even more conflicts. Once you get involved, make sure you help them both to find the solution, listen to both arguments and let them understand what is actually causing thissibling rivalry between them. Try to mediate, but don’t do it often.
6. Set special rules that shouldn’t be broken:
no tale telling